She's JV to your varsity
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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