They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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