i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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