So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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