you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
