The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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