can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She bit a glass in half.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize