Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
