I'm so fucking centered right now
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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