I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
