i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
