If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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