that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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