i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Randomize
