she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
only if we run a train.
done.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
