yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
