There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
