I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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