I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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