I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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