If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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