I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
