Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
