i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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