And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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