"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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