Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
