Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
