TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
