please come you make the beer taste better
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
