somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
