we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
tell me about the eggs
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
