Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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