i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
