i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
