So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
