Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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