His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
