You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
