How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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