he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So much Jack, so little girl.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
