So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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