I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
