dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
