I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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