My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
3pm strippers are depressing
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
