I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
