I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
