it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
