Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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