Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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