Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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