She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
