Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
