I want to make a zoo with you.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
