Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
