and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You've changed since you got that strap on
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
