I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize